Ever since our Middles moved in (13 and 14yo brothers), well - there are not words for this experience. To everyone who has been praying: thank you. When God tells you "yes" and you say "ok...yes" that does not mean that the experience will be easy or always wonderful. There might even be actual suffering involved. You might question, like we have, "God said yes to this?"
Yes. He did. His purposes and plans and methods are beyond what we can understand. And during these two months of trial with our newest Bonus Boys (and oh yeah, quarantine) - God has helped us understand so much more about who He is. I love this!! I love learning more about our God!!!! How He protects. Provides. Loves. Cares. Teaches.
I see our Bigs growing in ways that they simply could not have grown had they not experienced these challenges with us. THIS ALONE IS WORTH THE HARDSHIP. How can we want and pray for our kids to grow into amazing, godly people but expect that they achieve this without experiencing trial? It simply isn't possible. For any of us.
So today, I'm sitting in a quiet room and I'm letting the tears fall as I thank God for the trials of the past two months. Of the past two years since our foster/adoption journey began. Of the past decade as He started breaking down my sweet churchy-ness and began to mold my broken heart into an open one.
He has changed me and He continues to change me. All of us. I want this, even though some days I actually hate it. It teaches me to cling to Him and rely fully on the work of the Holy Spirit instead of on my weak and prideful flesh.
So trial, yay! It hurts so much and it is so necessary. Praise God for using every single moment for His good purposes! He truly turns every single bit of everything into goodness. It's who He is and it's how He works. He is all good, all the time. And we get to live in Him while He lives in us!!
May we seek this Truth and live by it,
